You’re Not a Super Mom – And That’s Okay

There’s a lot of pressure on women to be a “super mom”. They fall under the impression that they’re supposed to do and be EVERYTHING for their children. Somehow, women are expected nurture and love them, work hard to earn a living, maintain the house, and essentially make sure that their kids need or want for nothing. All the while mom’s wants and needs aren’t of any importance.

As impossible as this sounds, women will break their backs, bank accounts, and just about anything else to try to make all this happen. Though there’s nothing wrong with wanting your kids to have the best life possible when the pursuit of that minimizes or eliminates your own needs it can wear you down while also slowing the development and progress of your children. 

Reasons You Don’t Want to be Super

Every woman should aim to be the best mother she can be. However, there is a thin line between being a good mom and trying to be perfect or supermom. In fact, there’s actually a phrase for it known as the supermom complex. This is when a woman believes she can do and be all. This type of thinking, however, can result in any of the following:

Exhaustion – You’re the perfect mom. You can do it all. You never say no to your kids. As a result, your to-do list is often overflowing. You may muster through it all for a while, but working this hard without taking a break will drain your energy. Suddenly, you’re so exhausted, you can’t get anything done let alone the things your kids really need you for. 

Substance Abuse – Supermoms can’t let it be known when they’re stressed to the max. So, what do they do when they become inundated with things to do? They turn to substances. They might fuel up on painkillers to mask those body aches and pains from chronic fatigue. They pop a few sleeping pills to get a few hours of shuteye after being up all day. Some might even drink wine or hard liquor in an effort to ease their nerves. These rituals to keep up with their lifestyles, however, end up becoming a nasty habit. If you are a mother struggling with substance abuse look for a San Diego treatment center to help you get clean.

Self-Doubt – You take on impossible tasks and when they don’t get completed as planned, you become defeated. This defeat then turns into self-doubt or the feeling that you’re incapable of doing what your kids need you for. 

Isolation – Who has time for family and friends when you’re too busy trying to be supermom to your kids? If you happen to find a moment to yourself you probably spend it balling your eyes out or catching up on lost sleep. Positive personal relationships such as those you have with your significant other, family, and friends are vital to your emotional well-being and quality of life. Without them, life can feel empty and alone. 

Lost Sense of Self – When you’re focused solely on your children, you begin to lose yourself. Outside of being a mother, you have no idea who you are anymore. You may have your children to fill that void for the time being, but once they get older or when they’re not around (at a sleepover or a relative’s house), you have no idea what to do with yourself. 

Resentment – You have no idea who you are, you’re always exhausted, you’ve lost touch with friends and family, and every waking moment since the day your children were born has been all about them. When you actually sit back and realize all of this it can conjure up a bit of resentment. Though it was your choice to give and be everything for your kids, somehow you begin to feel like it’s their fault that you missed out on so much. 

The role of a mother is already difficult enough. You have so many responsibilities and so much to juggle as you nurture, love, and provide for your kids. Don’t make it harder on yourself by trying to hold the title of being “perfect” or “super”.  It will wreak havoc on all aspects of your life and leave you feeling empty, lost, and unsure of yourself. So what you can’t be and do EVERYTHING for your kids. Learn how to say no, ask for help, relax, and more importantly, allow your children to see that it’s okay to be human.


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