This has been a complicated few months for us all. We have all become stay-at-home moms, sometimes while remaining full-time employees at the same time. Many of us are being forced to use every bit of creativity we have in order to teach our children, keep them entertained, keep them engaged, and keep them connected. Just thinking about it all can cause a lot of stress. Many of us have faced moments when we are sitting on the floor and physically crying because it has all become a bit too much for us. If you are finding yourself in one of those moments right now, take a deep breath, know that you are still being an amazing parent, and think about what you can do to set yourself up for greatness.
We all need to carve out space for ourselves. This might look like taking an unused room or corner and creating a cozy haven. If you want to create a space for energy and creativity you might choose bright bold colors for an accent pillow. If you want to create a cozy space to rest you might choose neutrals and a comfy blanket. You might also pick out especially cozy items such as a smooth back bra, pajama pants, or a sweater to help demarcate this is your space alone. It does not matter what the space looks like as long as family members know when you are in this space you are not to be disturbed. It may feel strange to carve out these spaces when you have a mental to-do list a mile long but if you don’t you will never get around to tackling your list.
We also need to carve out time for ourselves. No one can be on 24/7. No one is a superhero. No one can do this all alone. This is especially important to remember as we all are physically distancing from others. What this looks like will depend on yourself and your family dynamics. For most parents, some type of schedule is key and will allow their children and themselves to feel in control of an out of control situation. If there is another parent in the house it might take the form of them watching the kids while you take a nice long bubble bath and get creative with your style. If you are not able to physically be with someone who can watch your kids you can still tap into friends and family. These individuals can video chat with kids, allowing your children to express themselves, while you take a few minutes just for yourself.
Finally, we need to take time to create small healthy rituals for ourselves. This might be in the form of enjoying a cup of tea or coffee each morning. This might be in the form of journaling or keeping a gratitude list. This might even take the form of listening to your favorite music or taking the time to watch one episode of your favorite show each evening. It does not matter what form these rituals take as long as we make time for them each and every day.
A lot is going on and we are all trying our best to be amazing parents. In these moments it can be easy to forget the wisdom to “put our own air masks on first”. We are all doing a great job considering everything which is going on and we have to make time to take care of ourselves. This time is not selfish but a necessity if we continue to want to put forth our best selves. Take space and time for yourself because you and your children will be glad that you did.
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